THAT family

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I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a one year old. We don't go out much. Apparently we entertain our selves at home. heh My mom begged me into going to the beach with them for a nice little family vacation. We were there. And it was dinner time. I thought about ordering in. But I was also going crazy in a small 2 tiny bed hotel room with all of the little hellions I mean darlings. So we went to...a sports bar. I know. I am amazing. My dad's choice of course.

First of all, we arrive to no tables available yet. We sit down and try to wait patiently. 4 year old begins to shout. "Pee. pee. I can't hold it." As he is of course holding himself and jumping up and down. 2 year old (who we are trying to potty train but it wearing a diaper for this outing) begins to chime in. "Enough!" I grit through my teeth as I grab 4 year old's hand. Mean looking waitress points to the direction of the potty room. I leave 2 year old with her dad I she shrieks about peeing herself.

I come back and they seat us. I about choke when I see that drinks are 4 dollars a piece!! Are you kidding me. And here lies another problem. Do I pay 8 dollars for 2 chocolate milks that my children will only drink half of or buy one and SHARE. BECAUSE the waitress can't bring me one chocolate milk and two small cups. Apparently, against the grand scheme of things. So I pick sharing. My, my. I also order one meal for the two of them and she will bring two plates. Apparently THAT is ok.

Meanwhile baby is not happy. He hates high chairs and really hates to be strapped in. I am trying to offer him spoons to play with, my phone, my wallet, anything that will keep him quiet. He just screams. Waitress not happy. Grandma steps in and offers to hold him the whole time. Not a terrible habit to start there.

Milk is brought to table and 2 year old wants to drink it first. No 4 year old wants some. I quickly switch cup from child to child. Food arrives. 4year old needs ketchup. Which is fine. 2 year old needs ketchup. Not so fine. She doesn't even LIKE it. But she does like to paint with it. Which is what she does all over the table as I cut up 4 year olds chicken. After cleaning up this mess. I try to eat, but 2 year old wants french fries. Not hers but mommy's. So I give her my french fries. Husband complains for the 1000 time about me doing that. Waitress stops at my parents side of the table to ask if all is ok. Doesn't some near us. I beg for more napkins.

2 year old becomes aware that music is playing in the background and she HAS to dance. She gets up and starts to get down in the middle of the floor. I grab her and put her back in her seat. She screams. I try to get her to dance in the corner where she will not trip some poor waitress carrying someones 300 dollar bar tab! But not my daughter. Apparently, no one puts (my) baby in the corner. (DD movie reference. nice.)

4 year old HAS to pee again. As he tells the rest of the restaurant. I take 4 year old AND 2 year old with me. In the bathroom, the 2 year old keeps wanting to run under the stalls. No only is it disgusting to touch the floor, door, or really anything. I yank her up trying not to touch her too much. Clean up kids.

Return to table. Check has arrived. No surprise there. What is a surprise is the 18% tip already factored into my bill. Which drives me nuts. I tip a waitress for a good job. That is the point of a tip. Not one who avoided me like the plague.

But we paid it. And got out. And the next night pizza in the room didn't look quite so bad!
Next time no sharing, bring toys for baby, and no ketchup!